CLASSIFIED ADS
FREE TO GOOD HOME
Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten - orange and black stripes, playful, friendly, very affectionate. Ideal for family with small pencils.
Handsome 28 yr old husband - sharp, funny, great job, loves opera and camping but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or the cat goes.
Contact Emma: 555-1234 - Come see both & decide which you'd like to take home.
Ex-Nun Starved for Romance Pencil Town area. Slender, attractive School Bus Yellow Pencil. Recently withdrew from convent. Starved for affection, romance and companionship. Poor by has a sharp personality to make a happy minded pencil happy. Call 555-9896
USED TOMBSTONE Perfect for someone named Tommy Leadbottom. One only. Ph: 555-9076
YOU'RE A PIG I saw you at the Tequila Mockingbird. You grabbed my butt and I told you that if you did that again I'd kill you. You did. I need your address now. Ph: 555-1587
Seeking Pencil Lovers Simply Pencils is seeking pencil lovers anywhere in the world. Must like funny and useful pens & pencils. Order now at www.simplypencils.com
SURGEON WANTED for a new health clinic opening soon in the area. No experience needed. Must have own tools. Call 555-4911
WANTED TO BUY: Playpen, cradle and high chair. Also two single beds. Call 555-7256
SEEKING SHARPENER Pencils-R-Us is seeking experienced sharpener. 401K, Health Benefits, Work-Life Balance. Contact Sally at 555-2186
NOT RETIRING Contrary to popular rumors, I am not retiring from Pencil Sharpening. If you see any sharpening equipment ads from me, its a scam.
Elephant For Sale Too big for our new apartment, a real sweetheart. 555-2494
